homemade burgalactics

greetings burglizza’s

i relish sharing my burger stories from afar with you but i’ve taken a little sabbatical from my treacherous journey across land and sea to spend a little well deserved recreational time with my life here at home.

this isn’t the most interesting story by far, but where there are burgers, i shall be…especially if those burgers are on our bbq, 5 feet away from our kitchen and even closer still to the beer that chills patiently in our fridge.

i’m a huge fan of eating and better still, eating at home when you know it’s prepared with luv and goodness. so,  my better half & i…dave, we’ll call him; decided to bbq up some burgs. we wasted no time getting down to bizniz.

we fired up the ‘beast maker’ and anxiously awaited that predictable, instant drool bbq smell that you know makes the entire neighborhood take notice.  we technically refer to this as ‘bbq envy’.  it’s the smell that summons you, much like a programmed robot, to go get yourself a little yummy something to slap on your own beast maker. it’s the snowball effect at it’s best.

what i find interesting about burgs is the overwhelming variety of dressings, toppings and styles that differentiates one burg from another.

for instance, when it comes to dressing a burg, ‘the one i call’ dave and i take opposites approaches.  he plays it pretty safe adding items one would expect to see on any given burger…..ketchup, mustard, onions, tomatoe, pickles, mayo and cheese.  he’ll play with any combination of the above but seldomly  strays. the’s what i luvingly call the ‘nerd burgular’, it’s like playing only in enclosed areas for safety coupled with the fear of venturing out past their comfort zone.

but alas, the good news is if you are one of these nerd burgulars, there is plenty of room for improvement and adventuring into new flavours.  soooo, the one i call dave took a tiny step out of his box and added a little avocado to one of his burgs….there’s hope yet!

me, on the other hand, wear my knickers a little looser.  i experiment more with toppings, dressings and even meat types.  it’s really just about whatever i think may taste good or at the very least, won’t make me gag….my reflexes are somewhat snobby.

one should always take into consideration the combinations and hazards of tastes blending…sometimes it’s a hit and others, well…we won’t go there.  taking what i just said into it’s own consideration,  i can attest to somewhat playing it safe with my burger toppings, but to my defense, it was what i had in the fridge that evening……you work with what you have and this worked out extremely well!…no gags!  the blue cheese was worrisome at first thought but it turned out to be a huge success!

we ate and enjoyed our friday night food frolic with a wash of ice cold brew…you can’t go wrong!

P.S….coming soon…what does your burger preferences say about you! I may have the answer for you. BURGSTROLOGY coming soon to a blog near you…well, in this blog, right here but at a later date, very near in the future, not too far away.  You will be shocked and amazed!

circusjo

acircusofburgers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the juicy lucy

bonjourno hamburglers,

i’m back with a doozy of a burger! this one, found in the illusive h-files from an undisclosed location only for those privy to.

because of my disclosure agreement, the only thing i can rightfully convey  is that the juicy lucy is believed to have been invented in Minneapolis. the claim is made by two restaurants that are located right across the street from each other. no one is certain of who first named the burger….well, except the respective owners and in trying to prove distinct ownership one restaurant spells it ‘jucy’ and the other spells it ‘juicy’.  this didn’t help to prove or dispel any notions of ownership. this became a classic case of the chicken and the egg so, to this day the controversy still scorches on.

mystery cheese substance

ok, so what is the juicy lucy and is it a part of some lament conspiracy quieted for years? what is its ultimate purpose? is it meant for good or evil? you be the judge.

juicy is a cheeseburger with lots of cheese crammed in the center of the hamburger instead of on top.  sounds ok…i guess, what’s the big deal?

as i dig a little deeper i begin to feel unsettled and anxious….unusal right? my research has revealed to me something shocking and amazing.  these fromage filled patties were fashioned as training implements for weapons testing by the military (that’s all i can say about that aspect) but…unseen to the untrained, naked eye awaited a surprise that could, if nothing else, leave you with a face full of scorching hot greasy cheese.  i joke not, hamburglers!

the unassuming person would hunker in for that first big bite…..and….HOLY HOT HAMBURGERS BATMAN!….the first bite creates an explosion of catastrophic proportions which is caused by a build up of atomic and pro-tonic energy inside the burger. sounds scary yes, so image if that was your lovely and delicate face behind this potentially disastrous h-bomb.

now, mystery surrounds the juicy. the more we know, the more questions we have. cloaked in a shroud of secrecy, the juicy will always be a mystery.

was the experiment successful? was it’s purpose to somehow expose those who may be a threat?

is it a form of communication only decoded by those in the know? why cheddar, is it found to really scorch the skin better than swiss or mozzarella?

these and many more questions may never be answered in our time but this is why it’s important to continue to document these strange occurrences for future researchers. one day we will know the truth! stay vigilant!

i invented that…so back off!

guten tag meine hamburglers!

to continue the epic journey across the u.s. in search of the the truth about burgers. last we spoke we learned the origin of the burger, as we know it.

now, lets check out some of the stories about widespread claimability of the sandwich origin of this man-obsessed beast  meat. 

yes, many have staked claim as the first…the inventor…but no one knows for sure. The true origin of the burger, as a sandwich, eludes us. history is spread mustardly thin in this area, which only leads me to ponder…what are they hiding, why the cloaks and confusion? what the….?

first is a man they called charlie ‘hamburger’ nagreen.  sure…it’s possible…hamburger is his middle name after all.  As a young man in wisconsin,  in 1885,  charlie worked at the seymour fair as a successful vendor of meatballs. can you see the forest for the trees yet?  little charlie figured out a genius way for his messy and frustrated costumers to easily ‘walk and eat’ with his meatballs. until that eureka moment, conditions at the meatball counter must have been awkward…..

” two balls please…yes, just in the palm of my hands is fine…. no plates, forks or nappies?….. that’s just peachy, i’ll just lick and nip at these hot balls…thanks!”

so charlie took one of his meatballs and swished, smashed, and flattened it between two slices of bread….smart! now the good people of seymour need no longer burn their delicate hands. he then saw fit to name it ‘hamburger’. is everybody happy? Yahhh!! but is it true…could it have really happened that way?

the next unlikely candidate are siblings most knew as frank and robert  menches; also working as, suspiciously, fair vendors in hamburg, new york. one day at the fair the brothers ran out of their best seller, pulled pork sandwiches but with hungry, gaping and drooling mouths and many snake eyes glaring at them, they had to conspire up something, quick, fast and in a hurry! the crowd roars!.

with this unruly and pork deprived crowd, the conditions for invention were  perfect if not a neccessity.

the brothers booked it to the nearest butcher and purchased some beef of which they poked and prodded to liking and served them up between two slices of bread.  this story comes seven years later than the first. descendants of the menches family are still in the burger biz..go figure!

next on the hit list of unusual suspects is louie lassen of new haven,  connecticut. louie operated a lunch wagon that served many factory men at the time and this is, reportedly where he claims the hamburger sandwich was born. the legend reveals that a man of business was in a rush and requested  something from louie’s wagon to go. what flash unknowingly got was the first hamburger sandwich and louie became the man with the hamburger wagon.

sure any one of these claimants could very well be the grand-daddy of the hamburger sandwich but one question remains.  how did they all come up with ‘hamburger’ as a fitting name? all of them..weird? or something else? my search continues!

the incredible hamdog

"only if you dare"

guten tag hamburglers,

as my journey unfolds, my ethereal wandering spirit has spoken loudly and have taken me to places far beyond the reach of our meek, humanoid existence….or at least it feels that way!

my journey into a relatively untapped part of history has already shed iridescent light upon the moment of birth of the hamburger and like all living things, the hamburger, as it grew and evolved, changed in form, function and flavour.

the hamburger became a capital market for the united states of america.  a gross development of this substance was usually fit for simpletons, more over; ground beef became a staple for most, if not all, blue collar and no collar families of the early 20th century.

our older more boastful brother, the u.s. would come to represent and present the hamburger in such distorted concoctions that many earthly worldians  soon started to question whether these oddities were truly the wonderments of natures imaginative culinary skills or the deceptive master plannings of world domination by an unknown entity.

And if this is the case, who’s to say that this specimen, unearthed deep in the recesses of Decatur, Georgia in 2005 was not the warnings of things to come.

so what exactly is the Hamdog Hamburger?

walk with me for a bit…..for me, Hamdog conjures up a an amusingly disturbing imagery.  could it have been a verocious pig/dog hybrid aimed at destroying mankind through misguided notions of self indulgence?

it’s not……this isn’t raccoon city….yet!

the hamdog, is seemingly, nothing more than a figment of an invention of an idea of a bad dream that should have remained in the shadows within the normal thought process…not the conclusion. but is that all there is to it?

now, let’s rustle up some hamdogs….

the hamdog hamburger was invented by a crazy dude they call chandler golf in the tender year of 2005.  as you may have guessed, this creation was painfully birthed in the u.s., as many of my findings will illustrate. it’s a popular novelty act it seems.

if you wanted to build yourself a proper hamdog ( i would advice having the emergency hotline readily available first)

this is what it would entail: a hotdog wrapped in a beef patty tomb, deep-fried, then drowned in chili, french fries, and topped with a sunny side up.

hmmm, i have to wonder what is really going here and it leaves the door open to review very logical and rational questions such as-

why? who are you working for? what the #%!* were you thinking? what is its dark purpose?

you may have a few questions yourself.  for the answer is still out there… somewhere in the unknown…..

as i continue my search for the truth, i hope that you will also ask yourself the same frightening and unthinkable question…..

is there a dark secret that may jeopardize the very existence of human-kind still yet to be uncovered? or is it just a crazy man’s creation of crazy comfort food?

to be noted: dr. nicholas lang, professor of surgery at the University of Arkansas for medical sciences, advised against ever consuming a hamdog at any point in one’s lifetime.

advise noted!

National Pie Day

It seems there is a *Day* for everything imaginable these days.

Valentines Day,Steak & BJ Day, Skipping Up & Down the Street Day,National Burger Day to name a few..and now, National Pie Day.

so.. couldn’t resist to share this OMG, this looks like it tastes like it’s multiple Burgasm worthy!!! especially when you want to leave the buns behind.

Cheeseburger Pie

9″ unbaked pastry shell
1 lb. ground beef
1/2 tsp. oregano
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1/3 cup chopped onion
1/4 cup chopped green pepper
1/2 cup fine bread crumbs
1 can tomato sauce (71/2 oz.)
1 cup grated cheese
1 egg
1/4 cup milk
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. mustard
dash Worcestershire sauce

Directions:

Combine beef, spices, onion, green pepper, bread crumbs and tomato sauce. Pour into pie shell. Mix remaining ingredients together and sprinkle on top of cheeseburger pie. Bake for approx. 30 minutes at 400 degrees F.

Courtesy of: MuchMenus.com

And so, it too was created!

welcome to the circus of burgers, hamburglers!

my search for the truth about the unusual fascination with what, essentially is just  ground beef/pork patties, begins by taking me on a journey into ancient worlds of nomads, hunters & conquerors. I want to know some of the history concerning the beloved burger.

for so it told…. that deep into the 11th century nomadic mongol warriors who were known for venturing out on lengthy excursions across vast lands and performing with excellent execution, i may add, the occasional pillage; often  carried flattened meat patties as their source of main food substance.  The patties were flattened for the purpose of convenient carrying.

when the mongol warriors took a hold of mother russia, they also brought with them yummy flattened meat product. what do you know, it caught on and soon russia was in the grips of what would eventually grip the entire world, like a delicious, delicious virus ….THE HAMBURGER!

soon the new flat meat craze would reach russia’s surly sailors who would drop in to visit the kind and gentle people of germany from time to time… hamburg specifically. the people of hamburg luv’d it so much that they eventually felt suited to finally give flat meat a more desirable name…..so they named it after themselves and began a passion worldwide that is even stronger now than then!

so that is the historical account of the origin of the burger patty..first step in my quest…now i want to know when, who and where was the birth of the hamburger sandwich. there is much controversy surrounding this topic but i will try to unravel fact from fiction in my next episode.